Ne yaparsam IELTS WRITING TASK 2’dan 6 alırım?

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Ne yaparsam IELTS WRITING TASK 2’dan 6 alırım?
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Academic IELTS  Writing Task 2‘den 6.0 almış bir essay’deki hataları inceleyip, genel olarak yorumlayalım.

 

 

 

 Overall IELTS score              (a low) 6

 

Şimdi bu Essay’i paragraf paragraf inceleyelim:

            In recent years, many people are living either alone or with their friends(1). Some people believe that this can cause a negative impact on communities when(2) others think that it might be(3) a positive impact on society.

1) IELTS Writing de yapılan en yaygın hata soru bölümünde geçen ifadeyi aynen kopyalamaktır. Bunun yerine kendi kelimelerinizle aynı ifadeyi yeniden yazmaya (rephrase) çalışın.

2) when = Yanlış kelime.  “While” ya da “whereas” kullanılmalı.

3) be = Yanlış kelime.  “Have” kullanılmalı.

 

           People who think this choice has a positive impact on society believed(1) that people,(2) who choose to live away from their families,(2) can both easily gain self-confident(3) and learn how to live by themselves. These two causes are vital for their futures(4). Because(5) of the fact that, they can stand by(6) the negative and positive sides of the(7) life without any help from their parents. Therefore when their parents pass away, they can get used to this condition(8) easily.

 

1) believed = Yanlış tense.  “believe” kullanılmalı.

2) Virgül kullanılmamalı. Relative clause’ dan once sadece non-defining ise virgule kullanılır. Buradaki defining’dir.

3) self-confident = Yanlış kelime biçimi. “self-confidence”(adjective!!) kullanılmalı.

4) futures = “future”un çoğul formu yine future’dur. Başına their koyarak çoğul form yapılmış olur.

5) Nokta yerine virgule kullanımı. “… future, because of the fact….” olarak tek cümle olarak devam etmeli.

6) stand by = Yanlış kelime.  “cope with” ya da “deal with” kullanılmalı.

7) Gereksiz article. Sadece “life” kullanmak yeterlidir. Burada “hayat” tan genel olarak bahsedilmektedir.

8) condition = Yanlış kelime. “situation” kullanılmalı.

 

           On the other hand, other(1) people think that people who are at(2) specific age groups can learn many life lessons from their parents because family concept is the only for shaping someone’s attitudes(3). For example, many adults do not want to live with their parents because of maturity. Generally, adults who are at adolescence period(4) assume they have already grown up so they should be free. Despite of(5) this, if they separate from their homes, they can have(6) wrong attitudes from their social circle such as drinking alcohol, using drugs. Therefore, they should not stay away from their families.

 

1) other = Aşırı kelime tekrarı.  “other” yerine “some” kullanılabilir.

2) at = Yanlış kelime.  “in” kullanılmalı. (Preposition’lara dikkat!!)

3) Sırasıyla hatalı tekil-çoğul, eksik kelime ve kelime biçimi kullanımı.

    “…concept is the only for shaping someone’s attitudes.”

    “….concepts are the only way to shape a person’s attitudes.”

4) “Generally, adults who are at adolescence period…” yerine “Generally, adolescents..” denmesi yeterlidir.

5) Despite of this = Yanlış kelime. “Despite” tek olarak kullanılır. “Despite of this” yerine “Despite this” ya da “Inspite of this” denmeli.

6) have wrong attitudes = Yanlış kelime. “… learn the wrong attitudes…” denmesi gerekir.

 

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           Also, the family tie is a very important for the communication on society(1). In other words, if the family tie of people is lost, people would not communicate with each other very well because miscommunication can lead to psychological distress. With the psychological distress, they cannot tell(2) their negative or positive feelings to anyone because when they live away from their families, they do not learn how the(3) ideas are shared with parents.

 

1) İngilizcede collocation’lara dikkat etmek lazım. (Hangi kelime hangi kelimelerle; tekil mi çoğul mu kullanılır. 2. paragraftaki “future” da buna örnektir.)

“family ties are very important for communication in society.”

2) Burada “tell” yerine “express” denmesi daha uygun olur.

3) Gereksiz article (the). Sadece “ideas” kullanılmalı. Çünkü “idea” lardan genel  olarak bahsedilmektedir.

 

           In conclusion, people should not decide living away(1) from their families until they are married exempt from special conditions as finding job another city which is different from their hometowns(2).

 

1) Gerund – Infinitive hatası. Decide + to verb kullanılır.

“…decide to live away…” kullanılmalı.

2) “… exempt from special conditions as finding job another city which is different from their hometowns.”

    “…except for in special circumstances such as finding a job in another city which is different from their hometown.”

 

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